What does it mean to spend time with yourself?
It might be hard for some of you to remember the last time you were truly alone. Depending on your situation in life, it’s possible you haven’t even been to the bathroom without someone calling your name or little fingers sliding under the door. So the concept of alone time might feel foreign and even seem to be a luxurious commodity out of reach. This shouldn’t be the case.
Being able to find a room, space, and time to be truly alone and do whatever you want, think whatever you want, feel whatever you want, and/or be whatever you want for some time each day is necessary to nurturing positive mental health. It is not selfish. It is not a luxury. And it is not something you should feel guilty about. It is necessary.
What are the benefits of taking time to do something by yourself?
Taking time for yourself has a multitude of benefits. Everyone can appreciate a little quiet and solitude, but here is a list of some of the benefits to spending time alone:
- Improved ability to explore yourself and your feelings.
- A higher level or easier access to your creativity.
- Renewed energy for socializations because you’ve adequately recharged your personal social batteries.
- Increased focus on projects or re-energized efforts toward chores and other productive activities.
- In children, spending time alone may improve behavioral problems they’ve had.
- Provides an opportunity to make plans for your day-to-day activities, or even longer term goals.
- Alone time is a form of self-care, which can decrease levels of anxiety and stress.
What self-time activities are most beneficial?
There’s a lot of research about what you should do to maximize your alone time, but the bottom line is that the most beneficial thing for you to do alone is what makes you happy and mentally healthy. That being said, sometimes the research is a good place to start if you’re at a loss as to how to spend your time alone. Here are a few suggestions:
- Do some introspection. How are you feeling about yourself? How do you feel about taking time to yourself? Exploring guilt and other feelings is an important part of self-evaluation and can aid you in finding a healthy mental space. Some people find writing and journaling about feelings to be helpful in processing.
- Try to find an exercise routine. Like spending time alone, exercise is also more about quality than quantity. There are some great 10 minute workouts, yoga flows, or running and walking playlists that are out on the internet. Here are some of our favorites:
- Take yourself to lunch or out for your favorite treat. Is there a place you love eating, but maybe other people in your family don’t like the food there and complain when you suggest it? Go by yourself and bask in the joy it brings you.
- Spend your time with a hobby. Remember that craft project, LEGO build, video game, or book you started, but never quite managed to finish? Your time alone is a great time to pick it back up again. It’s amazing what you’ll remember brought you happiness and made you excited when you make time to do it.
- Have a dance party or private karaoke jam session. When you’re all alone, you don’t have the perceptions of the world staring at you. Crank up the music and let your endorphins flow like when you were a kid dancing or singing like no one was watching, because back then, you didn’t care if anyone did.
- Try doing absolutely nothing. Put away the phone and other devices. Turn off the TV. Make yourself a snack and sit by the window and do nothing. Enjoy the quiet and simplicity of doing nothing.
How do I make alone time happen?
Ask for it. Let your family, friends, or loved ones know that you need some time for yourself. Create a clear expectation around what that looks like. You can even tell them that you have set aside a certain time each day for your time by yourself. Encourage those around you to take similar time for themselves. Maybe you even make it part of your daily family schedule. This sets an example of health for those you are close with.
Having daily alone time is important, but it might only be possible to set aside 10-15 minutes of alone time regularly. Make sure that at least once a week you allow yourself extra time alone, perhaps an hour or two, to do something you particularly enjoy doing by yourself. Remember that the keys here are quality time and consistently making time.
It’s all about balance.
In the end, it’s all about balance. So much of our lives demand that we be around people, interacting with people, problem solving with others, coordinating with others. It can be easy to lose track of our individual selves when we don’t give ourselves an opportunity to reflect alone, create alone, or just exist on our own. Of course, there’s also plenty of research about loneliness. But we aren’t talking about long-term seclusion. We’re talking about spending quality time by yourself, taking care of yourself.
Start scheduling time today to spend time with yourself and see what benefits you find in your life.
Leave us a comment below and let us know what you do with your alone time and what benefits you see!
